As I contemplate the probable loss of my job the stress I've been feeling for the last year and a half is actually lifted. I set off on a journey to fulfill what has been one of my dreams, to finish my undergraduate degree. Now that I am near the end of my undergraduate degree choices are upon me that need to be made. What kind of credential should I work toward? Should I try for an internship? Should I keep my current job and at some point quit to do my student teaching? Should I combine my masters degree with the credential? Do I really want to do this at all?
The natural progression seems to have me heading towards a teaching credential. While I do believe I am made for the classroom I have reservations about the timing. Fortuitous it is that now it's quite possible I will be laid off. Then the questions increase tenfold. Most likely I will be able to slide seamlessly back into the position I had before this one. Three hours a day with no benefits. Loss of benefits are fine, Joe has them, but I've been working with one mindset for so long that now when this is thrown into the mix it adds a dimension I just don't want to think about.
One of my mental blocks is the fact that Jessica will be a senior in high school next year. The last year she will live at home...do I really want to be working full time and going to school full time? I can easily answer that 'NO', but part of me says to not stop. The last time I stopped it took me four years to start back up again, but I must remember I only get one shot at this job called parenting.
This is not to say I won't continue, I might, but it makes me reconsider my previous decisions. Maybe I should be looking at this probably layoff as a blessing in disguise. Just think, more time to clean the house, go to the grocery store, exercise, maybe sew, and....more time to do homework.
What if I'm one of those people addicted to school? We all know them, they seem to always be going yet never accomplishing anything. I think I just have to much being thrown at me right now, that making an effective decision is almost impossible.
Can it be my time while it's still their time?
4 comments:
Julie, I'm sorry about the impending loss of your job-- no fun, but, as you say, it might be a blessing in disguise. This economy is proving to be a great opportunity for many people to go back to school and finish the educations they started before life intervened. With the new economic climate, all bets are off. What you thought you couldn't do, you can and what you didn't want to do, you need to. I know there's some quote out there about opportunity being disquised as adversity. So whatever you decided to do, it will be the right thing. Carpe Diem!!!!
Thanks Gail. It's the time thing that gets me. I want to do this, but I don't want to be so stressed with work/school that I'm not enjoying the last few years of the kids at home.
Understood. My answer would be to pray for guidance. Take it for what it's worth :)
For what it's worth, I believe in clouds' silver linings. I also believe it can be your time while it's their time. Thank you for being a sister I can be so proud of!
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