Possibilities in the New Year!

It's five o'clock on New Year's Eve, and as I sit drinking my tea thoughts of the new year are swirling around my head. Our family dynamics will be changing as Jessica heads off to college (she is not allowed to live at home after high school, I need a break). How will being three of us affect Andrew, or any decisions we make for the immediate future? What happens if he's busy at school, a lot, and it's just the two of us. I'm prepared for the eventuality of that reality, just didn't think it might happen so soon. Also, should I make a resolution? The expectation of making a commitment, only to surely break it, is a lot of pressure. I would much rather decide to change something about myself during a time when it's least expected, especially by me.

So, in the usual course of things, I'll just continue to muddle along and let things transpire (of course, many times I've said "failing to plan is planning to fail"), but even in my obsessive, controlling way that I plan, I'll look for ways to relax and enjoy the last few months as a family of four.

Off to get ready for a party now. It takes longer as I get older!!

Addendum to the Mother's Manual

It goes without saying that being a parent is the hardest job in the world, on so many levels. The crying, screaming, whining, incessant demands, and that's just the parents. The kids are worse. Quite a few times I caught myself saying "how many times do I have to tell you?" (embarrassing, I never thought I'd be one of "those" parents). But, as parents, it's our job to set standards, even raise expectations. That's why, when we say threaten something we have to mean it. Putting forth an aura of confidence and stability says don't mess with us, we can take the pressure. Parenting is not for the weak at heart!

Straight from this morning's Sacramento Bee (the most liberal paper I have ever read, but the only paper in Sacramento so I really have no choice): "Suit blasts McDonald's over Happy Meals".

Summary:

A Sacramento area woman is combining forces with the Center for Science in the Public Interest to sue McDonald's because they believe putting toys in Happy Meals is "deceptive advertising". Hello??? Yes, it is. McDonald's wants to sell Happy Meals. BUT you don't have to buy them. You can say NO!! (really, this parent is too funny). And I quote her, "I don't think it's OK to entice children with Happy Meals with the promise of a toy" Apparently, she tries to go to Mickey D's only once a month. Continuing, "But she said the requests increased this summer, thanks to the popularity of the Shrek Forever After....Needles to say, my answer was No...And as usual, pouting ensued and a little bit of a disagreement between us. This doesn't stop with one request. It's truly a litany of requests".

So, let me get this straight. Her kids asked her a bunch of times, annoying her, so she has to sue McDonald's? Can I sue Apple over requests for iPhones? Or Ferarri over requests for cars? (15 year old boy, here). What about ALL the times they ask to go on a "real" vacation. Can I sue the airlines? I mean, advertisers make Italy look pretty d**** nice. This lady needs a reality check. Kids ask for stuff. Say NO. If you can't handle it, tough. It's your job.



I wonder how she handles the cereal aisle?

The Mother's Manual

Before you bring the baby home from the hospital you need a car seat. The hospital workers actually wheel the mother, and baby, out to the car just to make sure the infant has a safe and secure way to get home. Of course the mother's not allowed to hold the infant while she's being wheeled out, that's a liability. But what I don't understand is why there is no manual for the mother. Do "they" really believe all women are endowed with some innate ability to care for infants? Notice the they is in quotation marks, I mean, who really knows who "they" are?? I think it's just some schmuck, in a suit, in some office at the legislature that really needs to add his name to some bill, justifying his existence.

Things That Should Be In The Mother's Manual:

DO NOT talk to teenagers in the morning. They don't like it and you won't like how they respond.

DO NOT expect to have a "nice" Christmas tree while animals live in the house (real animals, not teenagers, although sometimes there are no distinctions).

Family dinner time is a must. Turn off the tv and don't answer the phone.

Kids that help in the kitchen are more likely to eat what they help make. It's a hassle, but worth it.

Be a PARENT, not a FRIEND.

Say NO, and mean it.

Raise your expectations.

When they are infants, they cry, a LOT!

Make them do chores, which gives mom time to sit on the couch and read.

When they are toddlers, if you take them to the park, it tires them out for NAPTIME!

DO NOT talk to teenagers in the morning (repeated, but worth being said).

Expect laundry, lots of it.

Practice the "uh-huh" look in the mirror, so when they are endlessly babbling on about something or the other, it looks like you're paying attention.

Make them write thank you notes.

Let them try to fit in. If it takes some ugly pair of skinny jeans, well, let them wear it. Then take lots of pictures so in 20 years they can wonder what the h*** they were thinking (this really works)

Having said that last thing...they don't need everything their friends have.

For punishment, find out their hot buttons. For most teens it's the phone and the computer. Don't be afraid to take them away. You pay the bills, you set the rules!

And finally....

DO NOT talk to teenagers in the morning!

....but I live with tech support

Of course that doesn't mean much, I mean, most "techies" find it easier to fix the problem rather than teach how to fix the problem. Today I actually went to the blog help center. For some reason I wasn't able to change the layout of my blog, and usually I can figure these things out for myself, but it wasn't happen' this morning. So 8 hours after I posted a question some nice guy tells me how to fix it. No, it wasn't my husband, but an anonymous stranger from the far reaches of the internet. Now I can change the look of my blog again. So happy! Although not happy enough to tell what the problem was (so embarrassingly simple).

Having said all that...

This new background kinda reminds me of Sacramento in the winter...all rainy and strangely beautiful!

Thoughts about "stuff"

If you want a good haircut don't go to someone whose hair looks bad.
If you want financial advice don't ask a poor person.
If you want parenting advice ask someone whose kids are successful (not necessarily rich, just good kids that don't get into trouble and know how to enjoy life)
If you want couples advice don't ask a divorced person.
If you want school advice don't ask and uneducated person.
If you want advice on how to live a happy life don't ask a sad person.

Lot's of don't s, I know, but it seems like so many people get caught up in the here-and-now they fail to see the larger picture. As I always tell Jessica and Andrew, when you want something, figure out what it takes to achieve it, and then work out a plan on how to get it. You can't get an A by not doing homework and studying. Kids won't be great kids if the parent does not have expectations, or if there are no limits set. It's okay to say no. It's okay to not buy them everything. A teacher asked us last month how we ended up with two great kids, and we said "family dinner". Invest in them with time, not stuff. Really, that's the most important thing we can give our children, the gift of ourselves.

The signs of old age...

I forgot to put something on my mental checklist, and now that I've remembered the timing has put me back a few days. Ugh! Do NOT like that. There's been so much going on and trying to keep track of it all has really frazzled me. How did I work full time and go to school full time? Man, I must not have got anything done (although, I know I did, I just can't get it done now). Having said all that...Jessica's been filling out her college apps (which, by the way, are NOT due all at the same time, which means for the serious procrastinator (her) it's dragged out foreverrrrrrr)and Andrew's been working on a couple of school/scout things that are due. Why do I feel the need to organize?? Yes, I know that they are supposed to take care of certain things themselves, but as parents that's what we do; we teach our kids how to manage time, how to talk to adults, how to fill out applications, how to send thank-you notes, and all the organizational *stuff* that goes with being a successful adult. I just wish it didn't have to be done at the same time.

Okay, ranting done.

The Boy Scout Christmas party is next week and I forgot to check the shed for paper supplies (per the mention above). Not really a big deal in the whole scope of things, but I do like to at least appear like I know what I'm doing. It's all good, though, I've got the pizzas ready to order (20), and a list of sodas to get at the store (20 2 liter). I even remembered to pick up a toy for the Toys for Tots toy drive.

Andrew is presenting his Eagle project at the next board meeting (Dec. 14). If it's approved then he has to get it signed off by the council person. Hopefully it will happen this spring, end of April beginning of May. We're going to try to get a campsite in Yosemite before Memorial weekend, and he goes to camp the middle of June, so our timing is kind of tight. National Parks are notorious for selling out of campsites within minutes. Joe and I will both be manning the phones on January 15th (first day to call).

It's been frosty on the ground the last few mornings. One of the trees in our backyard is just now changing color. I fear this will be a long winter.

Christmas is in just over 3 weeks. Have not even started shopping yet. Of course, no one in this house has bothered to put up a list. Besides, how much "stuff" does one person need?

I'm off to work out now. Weights and running today. blah!